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Ben Jones

Over two decades in the trade, Ben got into tattooing after coming home from a particularly gruelling conflict, and having looked for somewhere to eat in a little town was met with hostility from the local law enforcement, wrongly arrested and had to go on the run. Chased relentlessly by a Sheriff, he stole a motorbike, jumped off a cliff onto a big tree, threw a rock at a helicopter and was forced to evade and incapacitate his pursuers using special forces techniques and a fucking big knife.

He killed a boar and hid in an old mine full of rats, then later commandeered an army truck, blew up a petrol station, shot up the sheriff in his station then luckily was talked out of going absolutely apeshit on everyone and everything by an old Colonel. He could also eat things that make a billy goat puke.

After this harrowing period of life he managed to get a Masters Degree in Fuck All, and has continued to make use of it since. A well renowned level of maturity, Ben can often be found discussing the creation of the world from a scientific, theological and philosophical point of view. He encourages calmness and reflection in the studio, and clients often feel a change in their mental wellbeing after their appointment.

All of the above is complete horseshit.

Ben still remains passionate about his work after over 20 years, and loves guns, knives, cats, motorbikes and cars. He enjoys farting and fingering, and sometimes is able to combine the two depending on the level of excitement in a situation, and is also a champion trougher, which is useful as he has the penis of a mouse. He enjoys a regular morning bowel movement and likes maltesers in his porridge, drinks Yorkshire tea and Guinness but not at the same time. If you are late for an appointment or don’t show without reasonable notice he will absolutely slag you off in such a horrid way your gran’s pubes will straighten and if you are lucky enough to get a second chance he will definitely try to hide a penis in your tattoo. The same applies for those fuckwits that don’t pay on the day and say they’ll “pop it in tomorrow”. Disrespect of the highest order does not go unnoticed by either artist, so be warned. Just because the studio has an easy going atmosphere does not mean it should be taken for granted. Ben does not like fuckwits. He does like Monster Munch, Japanese chipsticks and often Walkers Prawn Cocktail and Roast Chicken crisps in the same bowl. He cannot fucking stand children, his dislike for them should never be underestimated, not just in general but particularly in the studio. They are not welcomed by him or the studio at all, so please leave them somewhere horrid or throw them in the canal before coming for your appointment. Apart from the odd age related mental issue and deteriorating physical condition

Ben is considered by some to be quite a decent person, and a cunt by others. He cares little about either, but does care about your tattoo, so despite what your impression of him is from what you’ve just read, open your mind and pop in and see him, you might have a surprise.

Or never be seen again.

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213 Derby Rd, Chellaston Derby, DE73 5SE
01332 691344
b.jones529@btinternet.com

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